Almost 2 years of my life, wasted on someone who doesn’t even care about me anymore. I’ve wasted so many tears on you. At one point, we were madly in love. I would like to know what happened, what happened to us. It eats away at me every single day. I get sad all the time, I hate that I love you so much.
I miss you when something really good happens, because you’re the one I want to share it with. I miss you when something is troubling me, because you’re the only one who understands me so well. I miss you when I laugh and cry, because I know that you’re the one who makes my laughter grow and my tears disappear. I miss you all the time, but I miss you the most when I lie awake at night and think of all the wonderful times we spent with each other for those were some of the best memories of my life.
You hurt me so badly. But right now, all I want is someone to be with. Someone that cares, that will see right through me and give me that love I so desperately need.
I don’t know why I still love you. You do it over and over. Every time I tell myself it will stop, it never does. I love you and I hate you.
I’ve never trusted anyone like I trusted you. You can’t even imagine the love I had for you. I made mistakes. You made mistakes. It took me a while to feel, to know you were the one for me. But I guess by then, you were done. Now I’m just wondering why? I’m completely lost at the moment. How could your love disappear so quickly?
Please stop blaming me, will you? You always blame me, you always say that I’ve wasted your love for this whole 2 years? It makes me hurt to hear that, In fact, I always love you, until now. You always say to me that I never respect you, please stop blaming me. I know I’m wrong, but once again, please stop blaming me, It makes me feel guilty all the time. I hope you’ve understood everything I’ve said. This isn’t just a joke or a silly lie.
I know I’m so not over you but yet I have to act like I’ve forgotten the 21 months of love between us, like how you did. Pretending to tell you how I’m happy with this situation, pretending to be someone I’m not. I just want to see your smile again, hear your laugh and hear you call my name again. That’s all I want to happen. I think about you every single night before I go to bed. I lay there, eyes closed, smiling. And I think that you didn’t know how much I loved you, because if you did, you would never had left.
Every time I see you I want to go home and cry, because you meant that much to me and I didn’t mean a single thing to you. I miss you, I miss you so much that it hurts, I wish I could share about my problems with you like I used to. I’m sorry for being so annoying, emotional, disgusting, selfish, sensitive, and other negative sides of me. I know that this is all my fault, and you are right thats why you can forget me as fast as a blink of an eye.
I trusted you with everything. We went all the way. Now you say that you don’t want my loving anymore. I feel like I’m worthless. It’s not easy I know, making hard things look small but I’m dying to try.
Friend is ONLY a word, but you give it a meaning. Happy birthday DARA! I’m so lucky to have you as my bestfriend! <3